20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships

I saw this list of 20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships and thought I would share it with you. I wish I could give credit to the author though I found it on two different websites each claiming a different author so sorry to the original.

Anyway, enjoy…

1. FREE YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE.
Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live.

2. LET GO OF THOSE WHO ARE ALREADY GONE.
The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on. We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are. So when people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you. It doesn’t mean they are bad people; it just means that their part in your story is over.

3. GIVE PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW A FAIR CHANCE.
When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone hasgone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours. We meet no ordinary people in our lives. If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer. So appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.

4. SHOW EVERYONE KINDNESS AND RESPECT.
Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother. People will notice your kindness.

5. ACCEPT PEOPLE JUST THE WAY THEY ARE.
In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try. So save yourself from needless stress. Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.

6. ENCOURAGE OTHERS AND CHEER FOR THEM.
Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.

7. BE YOUR IMPERFECTLY PERFECT SELF.
In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self. And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same. Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress. Be your imperfectly perfect self around them. We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for those select few people that really take the time to get to know us and love us for who we really are. And to those select few, being our imperfectly perfect self is what they love about us.

8. FORGIVE PEOPLE AND MOVE FORWARD.
Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life. Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.

9. DO LITTLE THINGS EVERY DAY FOR OTHERS.
Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.

10. PAY ATTENTION TO WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE.
As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones. Remember, life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess. And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess. These people are your real friends in life. They are the ones who matter most.

11. ALWAYS BE LOYAL.
True love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable. These relationships are about two people being true to each other even when they are separated. When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything.

12. STAY IN BETTER TOUCH WITH PEOPLE WHO MATTER TO YOU.
In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart. So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words. Stay in touch with those who matter to you. Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of. Paying attention to these people is a priority.

13. KEEP YOUR PROMISES AND TELL THE TRUTH.
If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT! If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE! If you say you feel something, MEAN IT! If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE. It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies. Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt. Lying, cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts. Never mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of yours. Always be open and honest.

14. GIVE WHAT YOU WANT TO RECEIVE.
Don’t expect what you are not willing to give. Start practicing the golden rule. If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you want money, provide value. It works. It really is this simple.

15. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.
Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable. Information is the grease that keeps the engine of communication functioning. Start communicating clearly. Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours. Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationships, start with bad communication.

16. ALLOW OTHERS TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS.
Do not judge others by your own past. They are living a different life than you are. What might be good for one person may not be good for another. What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better. Allow people to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.

17. TALK A LITTLE LESS, AND LISTEN MORE.
Less advice is often the best advice. People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement. What they want to know is often already somewhere inside of them. They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.

18. LEAVE PETTY ARGUMENTS ALONE.
Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right. There are many roads to what’s right. And most of the time it just doesn’t matter that much.

19. IGNORE UNCONSTRUCTIVE, HURTFUL COMMENTARY.
No one has the right to judge you. They might have heard your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going through. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently. So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right. What most people think and say about you isn’t all that important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.

20. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF.
One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process of loving others too much, and forgetting that you are special too. When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters? When was the last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you someplace, simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there? When was the last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?

 

Here are the two websites I found this list from – buddhistthings.blogspot.com and marcandangel.com

 

Resumes are useless these days

Anne Anne hathaway brokeback mountain Hathaway lied to director Ang Lee to get the role on Brokeback Mountain. Her character needed to ride a horse and she could not but told Ang Lee she could. She got hired and on set it quickly became very obvious she had no idea what she was doing. At one point she fell off the horse. Her lie was exposed. Despite the fact she lied on her resume to get what became her break-out role, she went on to win an Oscar in 2013 for Les Misérables.

I went to an interview recently and handed my cover letter and resume package to the hiring manager and he tossed it aside saying he rarely even looks at resumes since so many people lie on it anyway these days. I do not. In fact my cover letter states “I will not waste your time with made up credentials and experience like other candidates will. My six years in the U.S. Army (Aviation Branch) taught me integrity and honor if nothing else.”

It is a sad days when you have to tell someone you are NOT lying to them since they assume everyone already is.

I’m never gonna dance again the way I danced with you…

Have you heard that song Careless Whisper by Seether? It is really good. You can watch the official music video for it here

Anyway, I had a sit down meeting with my former boss a couple years ago and he asked me if I was doing a certain something he considered negative while at work. Busted. Yep, indeed I was doing what he was asking about and there was no way to get out of it and I am a terrible liar so I fessed up. The thing is though he did not have all the facts. I got him up to speed on it and everything became more or less cool. He said he heard it from a former co-worker. Which got me to thinking…

Imagine this made up but quite possible scenario:
I have no money in savings and rent, which takes up a good chunk of my paycheck, is coming due. For some unknown reason, a former co-worker who I considered a friend, tells the boss that I am doing something the boss may not like. Funny thing is the co-worker used to do it too…which I am sure he failed to mention. Anyway, now the boss is mad and fires me. Work is hard to find these days and I can’t make my rent and miss the payment. A month later and I still don’t have an income and I miss my second rent payment and I get evicted. So now me and my dog are staying at a friend’s house. I had to put a few things in storage as I already sold most of what I could so I could have money to eat and keep the utilities on. My friend is not gonna let me stay there forever so I have got to get a job and another apartment but since I have an eviction my new place is going to charge me a huge security deposit which I don’t have so I have to borrow from another couple of friends and get myself in more debt.

I think you get the point right?

loose lips sinks ships bite your lip

All this happened because someone did not remember what their mom…and Uncle Sam…said: “Loose lips sink ships.” and “If you don’t have anything nice to say keep your flippin’ mouth shut! Bite your lip!”
(Or was that just my mom?)

And like Seether so elegantly sang, “Time can never mend the careless whisper of a good friend.”

So what is the point of today’s post? What am I gonna challenge you to do? Well, I want you to practice to bite your lip a bit more. No not literally, I don’t have that much insurance to cover your doctor bills if you really do bite your lip. Just think before you speak. What you are about to say does it cause harm or do good? Will it chop someone down or raise them up? That is part 1. Part 2 is I want you to say something nice about or to five people everyday starting today. The catch is it can not be because you want something in return. Just an unsolicited compliment.

That should not be too hard right?

Now go forth and be and do good because you are good enough, you are smart enough, and, doggonit, people like you!

PS- I know Wham did it first. :)

loose lips sinks ships girl sailor bit your lip

 

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Lazy people need not apply

One of my big pet peeve is when on Facebook people do not read the previous comments and just post their own comment or ask their own question when it has already been answered had they taken the time to read the previous posts. It reminds me of when radio host Tom Leykis spent the whole week talking about how he was going to masticate live on the air on the upcoming Friday and all the people would call in during the week and say how obscene that was. They could not take the time to look up the word masticate and educate themselves. Which just goes to show how lazy and self-centered people are.

so tired of mr lazy tshirt

Celebrities get to do cool stuff

After I heard the news of the death of Robin Williams, I heard that Koko the gorilla also heard about it and that she was sad as most of America was.

You remember Koko right? Hanabiko “Koko” is a female gorilla who, according to Francine “Penny” Patterson, her long-term trainer, is able to understand more than 1,000 signs based on American Sign Language, and understand approximately 2,000 words of spoken English.

robin williams koko celebrities

The Gorilla Foundation released a statement saying that “On Monday, Aug. 11, the day news broke of Williams’ passing, Koko and Penny and Ron (Drs. Patterson and Cohn) were together when phone calls started coming in about the sad event. After the first call, Koko came to Dr. Patterson with an inquiring look on her face. Dr. Patterson explained that “we have lost a dear friend, Robin Williams.” Koko was quiet and looked very thoughtful.” The statement also explained that in 2001, Robin Williams was invited to meet Koko at The Gorilla Foundation in northern California and that Robin Williams and Koko became very special friends.

Here is a video of their meeting:

(or you can watch the video here on YouTube.)

This got me to thinking… Celebrities get to do cool stuff us normal people do not get to do. Their status allows them this opportunity. Some of it is for security reasons. I remember hearing about Michael Jackson being escorted in the back entrence to ride Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland and I actually saw Alice Cooper escorted the back way into Calico Mine Train at Knott’s Berry Farm while the rest of us stood in line. There would be no way Michael Jackson, or Disnyland, would survive with him wandering around the park like I do.

Then there are stories like the one of Robin Williams meeting Koko. If I wanted to meet Koko? Yeah good luck with that right? Unless… I had a ton of cash. I know someone who recently threw the first pitch at the Las Vegas 51s baseball game. I asked him how he got that opportunity and he said it may have something to do with the large check they were donating.

Or if you are someone like Justin Bieber and have tons of cash you can have sex with the top hookers in Brazil. But in all fairness to Justin Bieber this article explains why Justin Bieber has no choice but to bang $500 per hour hookers.

There are countless stories of this kind of thing where celebrities get to do cool stuff us ‘normal-every-day-Joes’ are not able to.

I understand that when celebrities are photographed or stories are published about them doing cool stuff, it sells tickets or ad space ultimately as us normal folk want to read about their exploits as we wish to do the same. Like when Paris Hilton recently DJd at a popular club in Las Vegas a lot of people were talking. And that builds more attention. It seems she is going to be DJ at Hyde dance club at Bellagio in Las Vegas on New Years Eve this year which is over four months away as I write this and tickets are already no longer available. Gee, I wonder how much Bellagio is paying her?

I am sure Robin Williams was allowed to meet with Koko to bring attention to the preservation, protection and well-being of gorillas and other great apes through interspecies communication research and education. Still it was a cool thing to do I will never get the chance to. On the other hand I get to do a lot of things celebrities will never be able to like enjoy a quite meal or go shopping without being photographed or chased by the paparazzi.

Justin Bieber smuggled out of Brazilian brothel Centauros

So I guess it is an OK trade off.

Share your thoughts below in the comments. Would love to hear from you.

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Photos courtesy of here and here.